While Kids Ministry is now having Sunday morning activities at the church, we understand that there are some families who are not able to join us in-person. We want to stay connected to our families and continue discipling all our kids, regardless of whether they are here at The Heights or at home.  

Each week, those of you joining us online can watch Kids Ministry live on our FACEBOOK PAGE Sundays at 9:30 AM. During this Livestream, kids will have the opportunity to worship and listen to Bible lessons from our wonderful staff and volunteers. We will also continue to have our Bible Review Activities and GodTime Devotionals posted to our blog as well as the church app.

Parent Equipping Blog - Facing Rejection
Sep 27 1:12 PM

Parent Equipping Blog - Facing Rejection

Sep 27 1:12 PM
Sep 27 1:12 PM

Parent Equipping Blog- Helping Kids Deal with Rejection


The pain of rejection

We all face rejection at some point in life. It is just part of living in a fallen world. One of the consequences of the fall is that we have become alienated from God and one another (Genesis 3:7-8). Fear and insecurity (Genesis 3:10) make us hide from each other and reject each other.

Rejection takes many forms: not getting the job or promotion you have been longing for, a parent whose approval you desire, but instead, you are constantly met with criticism, a friend who betrays you by gossiping behind your back. The sad reality is that our kids face rejection too: their classmates exclude them from a game during recess, all their friends get an invitation to a birthday party except them, a bully is posting mean things about your child on social media.

Jesus himself suffered rejection; He was rejected by his own family. In John 7:5, we can read: “For even his own brothers did not believe in him.” Luke narrates how Jesus was rejected in his hometown of Nazareth. (Luke 4:14-30). The Jewish community, his own people, did not accept him: “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him” (John 1:11). Jesus suffered betrayal from his friend Peter, who claimed to love him. “Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times” (John 13:37-38). And we all know that Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss and fulfilled the Scripture: “The one who shares My bread has lifted up his heel against Me” (John 13:18).

Jesus has felt the heartache of rejection. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). He knows the profound pain that rejection can cause. The problem is that if we do not deal with the pain caused by rejection, the wounds don’t heal properly. It can alter the way a child sees him or herself, others, and God, and create anxiety about certain situations.

So, how can we help kids deal with rejection in the light of the Gospel? How can we help them heal, learn, and grow from these experiences?

Dealing with Rejection in light of the Gospel

1.) Rejection is an opportunity to teach kids about their identity in Christ

When kids experience rejection, it is an opportunity to point them to who we are in Christ. God has provided the wonderful gift of salvation in His Son Jesus Christ, because of His love for us (John 3:16). As a recipient of this gift through faith in Christ, (Eph 2:8-9) we are united to Jesus Christ and receive a new identity. Every believer in Christ Jesus is:

  1. A child of God (John 1:12; Eph 1:5; 1 John 3:1);
  2. A recipient of grace (Eph 1:4);
  3. Redeemed (Rom 3:24);
  4. Not condemned (Rom 8:1);
  5. Forgiven (Eph 4:23; Col 2:13-14);
  6. Has the righteousness of Christ (2 Cor 5:21);
  7. Chosen, loved, and holy (Col 3:12);
  8. God’s masterpiece (Eph 2:10);
  9. Part of a royal priesthood and a holy nation (1 Peter 2:9);
  10. At peace with God (Rom 5:1);
  11. God is always with us (Matt 28:20; Hebrews 13:5);
  12. Accepted in Christ (Rom 15:7);
  13. Complete in Christ (Col 2:9-20);
  14. Can never be separated from the love of God (Rom 8:35-39).
  15. Has eternal life (Rom 6:23).

And these are just a select few of all the spiritual blessings of heaven we have in Christ (Eph 1:3). This helps kids understand that rejection does not define them. Only God has the right to tell us who we are.

2.) Lessons from rejection

Kids might wonder why God would permit them to experience rejection. You can encourage your children by reminding them that God has the ability to make something good come out of something bad. He uses difficulties: 1) to teach us to rely on Him rather than on ourselves (Philippians 3:7-10), 2) to teach us obedience through discipline (Psalm 119:71), 3) to teach us perseverance and to build the character of Christ in us (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4), 4) to give us instruction in who God is (Psalm 94:12; Hebrews 12:6-11), and 5) to teach us to follow Jesus’ example in suffering (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

For further discussion see The 21 Toughest Questions Your Kids will ask about Christianity & How to Answer Them Confidently by Alex McFarland, Focus on the Family.

Rejection can also teach your kids empathy. Having experienced how it feels not to be wanted can help your kids show kindness to others when it is their turn to accept another child into their circle of friends. It can encourage them to obey the Lord’s instruction in Matthew 7:12: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

Weekly Challenge

Start a conversation with your kids this week about rejection. Have they ever experienced it? How did it make them feel? Let them know that you are here for them whenever they want to talk. If they are walking through a situation where they’ve experienced rejection, point them to Jesus and teach them how to deal with rejection in light of the Gospel. You can partner with God and help them grow through this experience of suffering.