What to Do: Schedule a dinner or coffee date to discuss how you launch or reemphasize the habit of praying together as a couple.

Discuss

A frequent routine of prayer together dramatically reduces the likelihood of divorce by improving spiritual connection, marital trust, and physical intimacy. However, common obstacles to prayer persist:

• Intimidation: Many people feel awkward about initiating prayer with their wives because they perceive her to be more spiritually mature. But you don’t need to be a spiritual giant to lead in this area. You just need to initiate. Don’t expect perfection; but make a move!
• Background: Some grew up in homes where prayer was silent or non-existent. Praying out loud in front of others can feel uncomfortable. Start by holding hands while praying silently together then squeeze hands when you are done. Then graduate to “one sentence prayers” and so on. Take baby steps.
• Schedules: Jobs, kids, travel, and other life realities will get in the way. Piggyback your prayer habit onto existing routines (i.e. bedtime, driving, etc.) at least twice per week rather than setting lofty but unattainable goals.

How have you struggled with these ore other obstacles to prayer?

Consider the following guidelines for overcoming these obstacles. How do these encourage you?

• Humility: Agree that you are just two of God’s children seeking help rather than spiritual giants hoping to inspire or impress one another.
• Silence: When either of you doesn’t know what to say, agree to mention a topic and then pray silently
• Reminders: Either can “nudge” the other back on track whenever your prayer routine wanes. No guilt or remorse. Just a fresh start.

Next Steps

Discuss the following with each other before launching a simple prayer routine:

How will we pray? (Choose a place to start)

• Silent prayer while holding hands
• One sentence prayers about shared concerns
• He prays while she silently agrees
• She prays while he silently agrees
• Take turns praying out loud

What will we pray for/about? (Mention 2-3 in each category)

• Giving Thanks
• Our Needs/Concerns
• Our Kids/Grandkids
• Our Dreams/Goals
• Family/Friends