Kids Blog

What is peer pressure? Peer pressure is when we feel compelled to act a certain way because we want to fit in or be accepted by certain people. No one wants to be the person who gets talked about or made fun of behind their back. Unfortunately, it is easy to lose focus of who we really are and where we derive our identity because it becomes so much more important to us to simply just fit in, especially when we are young.

Perhaps your child feels pressured to be the same as the others in the group – to talk as they do, to dress as they do, or to want to watch movies or have social media just as their friends. It is quite natural for us to want to conform and to belong.

But if we truly desire to be God's children, we must consciously look for and choose His way of life. Romans 12:2 reminds us, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

As parents, as much as we desire to keep our children safe, it is inevitable that sometime during their lives, they will experience peer pressure. Therefore, it is our job to instill in them the knowledge to avoid it, equip them to face it, and the grace to love and forgive them when they have given into it.

Get plugged in

One of the easiest things you can do to help your children avoid peer pressure is to get them plugged into a Christ-centered environment. For some, this may mean the local church, while for others it may be a school organization or club. In either case, we aspire to surround our children with peers that will build and strengthen their faith, rather than tear it down.

Another thing we can do as parents is to get ourselves plugged into our children’s lives. We should know who their friends are and where they are spending their time. In our home, we’ve taken the approach of trying to make our house the gathering place (in non-pandemic times); this way, we have at least a little bit more visibility into how our children interact with friends than we would otherwise. Taking an interest in our children’s interests, whether it is sports, video games, academics, drama, etc. shows that we have a sincere concern for their welfare and builds a deep trust that can come into play when situations of peer pressure arise.

Get equipped

As parents, how do we help prevent our children from running into situations where they will inevitably face negative peer pressure? First, it starts with identity – theirs and ours. When we choose to walk a life with and for Christ, we are already taking a road less traveled. Our identity comes from experiencing His grace and sacrifice for us, not what the newest trend is or worrying about what others think of us. As such, we owe it to Him to teach our children to speak, think, and act differently.

When I think of an example of peer pressure in the Bible, the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3 comes to mind. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were men of God, understanding His commands and wanting to show obedience to Him no matter what the cost. As we know from the story, they chose to take a stand, differentiate themselves from the crowd worshipping the golden idol, and hold faithful to the Lord. And what did these men receive for their faith? A trip into a fiery furnace. However, the story did not end there. God was with them, protected them, and brought them safely out of the fire.

Throughout the course of their lives, our children will face an incalculable number of choices. Some will draw them closer to God, while others will bring them further away from Him. As parents, it is our responsibility to help prepare them for making these decisions and understanding the longer-term impacts and consequences. Only when they have been tempered in fire, will we be able to see their strength.

Give grace

All of us are sinners that fall short of God’s ideal picture for our lives. What then do we do when our child has given in to peer pressure and the temptations of this world? Do we make excuses or condone their behavior or bad choices? No, we extend them the same grace and forgiveness that Christ modeled for us upon the cross. As I write this, I am reminded of the Parable of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-32. The relief the father experiences knowing his son has come back to him despite all his failings and poor choices is a model we should seek to emulate.

Weekly Challenge

In preparing your children to tackle peer pressure, start small and begin with a simple conversation. Ask them what went well in their day/week and where they may have had challenges. Then, participate in an activity with them of their choosing (ready to strap on those rollerblades again?). The goal here, in addition to just plain having fun, is to build a foundation of trust with you, their parent, that they can fall back on when times get tough.

November 1 KIDS Curriculum

Please head over to our FACEBOOK PAGE at 9:30 AM this Sunday to participate in a worship and discipleship experience! We will make the recording of the teaching time available on YouTube Sunday in the afternoon. Here is the link to our YouTube CHANNEL.

This week, our teaching is about giving thanks no matter what happens. (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Through this, we learn that you always have something to be thankful for. 

This Week's Bottom Line:

FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITIES

Bible Review Activities (PDF) - There are several small activities that we as a staff have set up for you to do with your kids throughout the week. 

Kids Devotionals - Each week, there will be several days of devotionals for your kids specific to that week's lesson.  You can download and print a PDF or access on the Heights App.

November Bible Verse:

Four Ways to Teach Your Kids to Value and Respect Others

1. Teach Your Kids to Love Jesus

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:” Philippians 2:1-5 (NIV)

There are many resources, blogs, and parenting newsletters that will give instruction or tips on how to correct your children’s behavior or how to train them to respect others. I do not want to downplay how helpful those can be for parents, but there is no greater way to see a transformation in your child’s life than by introducing them to Jesus. That is because we are not naturally born caring and respecting others. Our hearts are selfish and self-centered.  

Jesus is the only one who truly has the power to change our selfish hearts, to give us the perfect example of one who values others above himself, and to help us when we are weak. Make following and loving Jesus the number one priority in your family, and your children will grow up knowing they should have the same mindset of Christ when it comes to valuing and respecting others.

2. Model Respect for Others

“The values-in-action of the parents are the ones that children see and imitate. For this reason, parents who intend to communicate traditional moral values to their children need to be conscious of how they, as parents, live, speak, and behave.” (Strommen and Hardel, Passing On the Faith, 88-93).

If you teach your kids to respect others, but then yell at the referee, complain about your boss, insult their teacher, or have an attitude with a store employee, your kids will see respecting others as optional and not something Christ commands us to do.

If you yell at the driver in the slow lane, or cut others off in traffic, talking down about the lifestyle choices of others, or seek to “cheat the system” to benefit your family at the detriment of others, your kids will learn that taking care of themselves is more important than considering the thoughts and feelings of others.

Instead, as a parent you need to be sure to model what respecting authority looks like, especially in the moments you may not want to. You need to show what putting other's needs looks like and go out of your way to help others. These types of non-verbal lessons will do more good at shaping the way your children treat others than any verbal lesson will. 

3. Set Firm Boundaries

The only one of the 10 commandments directed at children commands them to honor, or respect, their father and mother (Exodus 20:12). So, teaching your children to value and respect others begins by teaching them to respect you.

Parents must work together as a team and have clear boundaries for the whole family. Let your “no” mean “no” so your child understands who is in charge. Have a clear list of consequences for breaking the rules, so your child knows they can be held accountable for their actions. If a child is disrespectful and tries to talk back, firmly but calmly let them know that disrespectful talk is not allowed in your family.

It is important that you are respectful to your child while enforcing all these rules as well. Yelling, getting upset, or having an attitude with your child will only counteract what you have been teaching them. Once again let your actions will show them the right path to take, and will let them know that the right way to treat others is with respect.

4. Teach Humility

As C.S. Lewis said. “Humility is not thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less.” Humility naturally causes us to value others because humility causes us to think about others. Even more importantly Jesus teaches us that we should seek to make ourselves lowly and to serve one another (Matt. 18:1-4, Luke 9:46-47, John 13:1-17). 

The best way to teach your kid humility is by giving them opportunities to serve others. These acts of service may be as small as dropping a few coins or dollars in the offering plate at church, or as great as helping to serve meals at a local food pantry. The important part is that you find ways for your child to serve and that you serve alongside them. This will reinforce the idea that we should not always be looking to take care of ourselves, but instead, we should look to the needs of others first.

Challenge

Start looking for opportunities for your family to serve others in November and December. Many serving opportunities that are normally available this time of year may not be available, so extra planning is needed to find ways for your kids to help others. Start now, so that when the time comes, you already have a plan in place and can help teach your kids to value and respect others.

October 25 KIDS Curriculum

Please head over to our FACEBOOK PAGE at 9:30 AM this Sunday to participate in a worship and discipleship experience! We will make the recording of the teaching time available on YouTube Sunday in the afternoon. Here is the link to our YouTube CHANNEL.

This week, our teaching is about thinking about your decisions and making wise choices. (Philippians 4:8). Through this, we learn to focus on what's true.

This Week's Bottom Line: 

FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITIES

Bible Review Activities (PDF) - There are several small activities that we as a staff have set up for you to do with your kids throughout the week. 

Kids Devotionals - Each week, there will be several days of devotionals for your kids specific to that week's lesson.  You can download and print a PDF or access on the Heights App.

October Bible Verse:

Reading Scripture With Your Kids

Reading the Bible to your children is one of the most critical things you can do for the development of each child’s faith. It is important to get them into this habit early, as you want this exercise to become an integral part of their whole lives.  Romans 10:17 says, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ”. Depending on how many children you have and their ages, you can either read the Bible to them one-on-one or as a family. It is completely up to you and what you think will be the best for your family. Although there is no “one-size-fits-all” for Bible-reading time, here are some tips to help parents decide what will work best with your family and your needs.

Establish a Routine or Schedule

The first thing to do is to establish a routine. Look at your schedule and figure out what is the best time of day to set aside for reading Scripture. This might be challenging at first and it may take your family a few weeks to get in the swing of things, but it is so important to establish a time for reading God’s Word. That being said, don’t feel bad if you stumble once and a while and don’t read Scripture with your child. Life is full of twists and turns, unexpected problems, and just general craziness; you are going to forget or not have enough time occasionally and that’s OK. The important thing is getting into the habit of reading Scripture. 1 Timothy 4:13 says, “Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching.”

Be Intentional in Reading

Not only is reading the Word of God important but the way you read it as well. When reading the Bible with your children, try not to just randomly select some verses here and there. Yes, this is spending time in the Word, but it is an incomplete overview of the whole story. When you read little snippets here and there, it is harder to see and understand the connections between passages. Instead, read whole books of the Bible together over a period of time. This allows you and your children to dive deeper into the meaning of Scripture, establish connections between the many books and even between the two Testaments, and help everyone come to know God better. And last, but certainly not least, reading Scripture this way shows your children that the whole Bible points towards Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior. Luke 24:27 says, "And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself."

Make it Interactive

Simply reading Bible verses to your children is good, but if you want to make the experience even more enriching, make it more interactive. Asking questions increases the chances of your child understanding and remembering what they have read. By actively engaging them, you are increasing the probability that the lesson and its message will stick. Asking questions is also a great way for family members to interact with one another. Questions often lead to meaningful discussions as everyone has a different viewpoint that they come in with. It’s also important to let your children ask you any questions they might have as well. If you know the answer, respond in a thoughtful and sincere way. If you don’t know the answer, be honest with them. Look for the answer and pray to God for wisdom and guidance.

You can also make it interactive by spending time in the word of God in different ways. Switch things up a bit: one day, have everyone pass the Bible around and each read a portion of the Scripture. On another day, have each person act out a character in the story. Or encourage their creativity by having them draw scenes from the lesson, memorize scripture, play charades; anything you want! Each child is special and uniquely created by God and as such, they will connect with the Word in different ways.

Resource

If you are looking for a specific reading plan to follow, I highly recommend “Exploring the Bible: A Bible Reading Plan for Kids” by David Murray. This book is the perfect fit for kids ages 6-12 and includes daily Scripture readings, prayer prompts, memory verses, discussion questions, and much more!

Weekly Challenge

There is no place to start like the beginning, right? For this week’s challenge, start your Scripture reading with your children in the book of Genesis. Once you have found a good time of day to set aside for reading God’s Word, decide how much your family will read in a day. Go at a pace that your kids will enjoy and understand what they are reading. The hardest part is getting started. Once you establish reading Scripture as a part of your daily routine, it will get easier and easier until it becomes another part of your lives.

October 18 KIDS Curriculum

Please head over to our FACEBOOK PAGE at 9:30 AM this Sunday to participate in a worship and discipleship experience! We will make the recording of the teaching time available on YouTube Sunday in the afternoon. Here is the link to our YouTube CHANNEL. 

This week, our Bible story is about Naaman and Elisha's servant. (2 Kings 5). Through this story, we learn that when you're not truthful, you lose trust. 

This Week's Bottom Line:

FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITIES

Bible Review Activities (PDF) - There are several small activities that we as a staff have set up for you to do with your kids throughout the week. 

Kids Devotionals - Each week, there will be several days of devotionals for your kids specific to that week's lesson.  You can download and print a PDF or access on the Heights App.

October Bible Verse: 

Giving Grace to Your Child

Dr. Tim Kimmel, the author of Grace Based Parenting, spoke at a parenting conference, hosted by The Heights Church a couple of years ago. Throughout his book, Dr. Kimmel reminds us of the many ways to parent gracefully, and I would love to share with you some excerpts from this book.

Parenting with Grace

The most distinguishing part of the Christian faith is grace - a gift offered by God to undeserving people, that makes us fall in love with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Grace is what attracts us to Him and what confirms His love for us over and over. God's grace has the power to transform the most hardened soul into one overflowing with kindness. If this is the primary way our perfect Heavenly Father deals with us as humans, it should stand that grace is the best way to parent our own children. 

Grace should affect how you handle discipline as well as how you process your child's fears and quirks. Grace keeps you from tearing down their spirits when they move through awkward transitions and adolescence. Parents should communicate nothing but acceptance for the unique characteristics and traits of their children. Showing your child grace this way will leave them with a love that is secure, a purpose that is significant, and a hope that is strong. 

Grace Gives a Child Security

At the core of grace is LOVE - a love that stands strong regardless of our sin and comes to us free of charge. 

"'Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed hi solve among us: He sent his one and only Son to the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and send his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:7-11

We can pass this kind of love onto our children. A love that is steady, sure, and available to them whether we are or not. As parents, we can do something while they are under our roof that increases their capacity to move into their adult years. Children feel secure love when they know they are accepted for who they are, receive regular and generous affection, and they know they are a part of a loving and honoring family. 

Grace Gives a Child Purpose

There is a deep longing in the heart of every child to "make a difference"; not only were we made in God's likeness, but we were also given a need to matter. We were created as works of art to be developed and embellished. Ultimately, it is the parent's great influence that makes a child who they grow up to be. Parents are the ones who invest most of the time, put up most of the money towards their interests, and the ones who donated (in most cases) the basic ingredients for their DNA. Our children were born with a need to find a purpose in life. So how can we build this purpose into our own children? There are three main ways:

1. Regularly affirm them (Psalm 139:14)
2. Give them your attention (Matthew 18:5-6)
3. Gracefully discipline them (Hebrews 12:7, 9, & 11)

Grace Gives a Child Strong Hope

Hope is the human equivalent of oxygen when it comes to our ability to live effectively. Take it away, and everything else becomes irrelevant. In the process of raising our children, we can transfer confident hope into the deepest parts of their being. God has given us ways to enhance this need through the Bible.

• Recognize their God-given abilities and liabilities and turn them into assets for their future.                     "Train up a child in the way he should fo, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
• Lead them and encourage them to live a great spiritual adventure.                                                  "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 
• Help them turn their childhood into a series of positive accomplishments.                                          "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please the flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become wearily in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:7-9

In Conclusion

A family that is filled with grace have homes where children are given the freedom to be different, vulnerable, candid, and have the freedom to make mistakes. If you get these four things going, parenting challenges find reasonable solutions. God has given us guidance over these wonderful opportunities to make a difference in our children's lives. It's called grace-based parenting. 

Weekly Challenge

I encourage you to grab this book and read it for yourselves. It will change how you parent your children! Here is a link to Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel:

Barnes and Noble

October 11 KIDS Curriculum

Please head over to our FACEBOOK PAGE at 9:30 AM this Sunday to participate in a worship and discipleship experience! We will make the recording of the teaching time available on YouTube Sunday in the afternoon. Here is the link to our YouTube CHANNEL.

This week, our Bible story is about Daniel's integrity. (Daniel 1). Through this story, we learn that it is important to be truthful with your whole life. 

This Week's Bottom Line:

FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITIES

Bible Review Activities (PDF) - There are several small activities that we as a staff have set up for you to do with your kids throughout the week. 

Kids Devotionals - Each week, there will be several days of devotionals for your kids specific to that week's lesson.  You can download and print a PDF or access on the Heights App.

October Bible Verse:

Discipline

It is 5:00 and the kids have been home from school for the last two hours. Backpacks and tennis shoes are strewn across the living room, the small, crunched up remains of Goldfish and granola bars litter the floor, and screaming emanates from every corner of the house. I have officially lost control, and my children now run our home. We need some discipline, and we need it fast.

The word “discipline”, even as adults, elicits many different memories and invokes different responses. To some, it may be that overbearing parent providing constant correction, to others, it resonates an almost militaristic adherence to structures and behaviors, and to others still an unfair punishment. No matter where your own personal history places you on the discipline spectrum, it is the reality of parenthood that our children need discipline.

Now, what can the Bible teach us about discipline and how to raise our children?

Discipline must come from a place of love.

Think of hugging your child. In that moment, what do they think and feel? They feel enveloped by a sense of security and care. Discipline should be no different. Our children should sense that we have put a protective barrier around them and are redirecting them to ensure their own security. Proverbs 13:24 states, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” 

The Bible is our go-to reference tool for guidance and discipline

Whether you are disciplining your child for disobeying, talking back to you, fighting with their siblings, or any of the other trying situations we find ourselves needing to address as parents, God has provided with us a guidebook, His Word, to help us address these challenges. The Bible should be our go-to reference on how to instruct, grow, and lead our kids. Through discipline, we can provide our children with a framework for evaluating and making decisions according to God’s will. In 2 Timothy 3:16, Paul reminds us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”

Discipline is corrective and necessary

Consequences are never fun but are necessary for helping a child learn and grow. We see many examples throughout the Bible where God uses discipline to correct His people. Take for instance His dealings with Israel. God provided for His children, guided them, reasoned with them, and punished them. While some punishments were rather harsh, His punishments were never out of spite or vengeance. God punished Israel to lead them to repentance. He does the same for us: “For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child” Hebrews 12:6. Without correction, our children’s behavior can lead to a life of sin and separation from God. Certainly not the life we would want for our children!

Discipline requires obedience and consistency

Almost always, when the wheels have fallen off, I feel I’ve lost all control of my children, and I find myself asking “Who’s in control here, my child or me?”, it’s usually because I haven’t been consistent in disciplining. I have not made active parenting a priority and have ignored, excused, or justified poor attitudes and behavior. Disciplining takes obedience on the part of the child AND parent. Disciplining is neither fun nor easy. Given that no one likes to be the “bad guy”, being obedient and consistent with your discipline is key.

If we want to bring order to the chaos, peace to the conflict, and respect to the relationships within our homes, we need not look any farther than God’s design for discipline and parenting. Instilling in our children a sincere fear and honor of the Lord paves the way that leads to salvation and harmony. It is up to us as parents to take the first steps down that path.

Weekly Challenge

As parents, sit down this week and decide what rules will take priority in your home. Spend some time as a family looking up what the Bible says about each of your family rules and display them prominently in your home. Discuss the consequences of being disobedient with your children and be consistent with your discipline as situations arise. Proverbs 22 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

October 4 KIDS Curriculum

Please head over to our FACEBOOK PAGE at 9:30 AM this Sunday to participate in a worship and discipleship experience!

 

FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITIES

Bible Review Activities (PDF) - There are several small activities that we as a staff have set up for you to do with your kids throughout the week. 

Kids Devotionals - Each week, there will be several days of devotionals for your kids specific to that week's lesson.  You can download and print a PDF or access on the Heights App.