Kids Blog

Good communication, both verbal and non-verbal, is crucial for any family but good communication also takes a lot of work and seeks to put others' needs first. If you do not pay attention to the loved one who is talking to you, communication becomes vague and unclear. When communication is poor, bad feelings boil over, misunderstandings happen, and relational problems arise. It is important that every person in the family is heard, respected, and of course, loved. When communication is good, strong bonds are established between all the family members, everyone is more capable of problem-solving, and there is a healthy atmosphere in your home. Good communication is worth the effort and here are some tips for how to establish good, family communication.

Be Available

Our lives are full of busy schedules: there is homework to be completed, household chores to be done, extra-curricular activities to attend, meals to cook, and many other tasks and activities.  Take every opportunity to communicate. Turn the radio down while in the car and talk on the way to church, school, or even when you are out running errands. When everyone is at the dinner table, turn off/put away distractions and have each person tell the family about their day, both the good and bad moments. Use any opportunity to share thoughts, memories, and feelings with each other. Being available means being there for your loved ones and helping them out when they need it.  Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Be a Good Listener

Listening is the key to establishing good communication skills. Verbal communication makes up around 10% of what we communicate while non-verbal accounts for 90%. Examples of non-verbal communication include facial expressions, postures, body orientation, tone of voice, and body language.  Watch their body language and facial expressions in addition to what they are saying. This lets your child know that you respect and value what they have to say. As a result, he or she realizes they can come to you anytime they want to talk. If you have any questions or might be confused about something, do not hesitate to ask, or have the person clarify what they said. Share your thoughts and feelings too; communication goes both ways. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

Be a Good Role Model

Children observe the world around them and model their behaviors after the most important people in their lives. If you and your spouse disrespect one another or partially engage in conversation and quality time together, you are training your children to do the same thing. Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Positive reinforcement is also key. Constructive criticism is important to a child’s growth and development, but praise is good for their mood and self-esteem. Praise your children’s positive choices and actions. This can be as simple as saying something like, “I really appreciate that you said that to me” or “That was very thoughtful”.

Do’s & Don’ts

DO:

• Be truthful and honest and how you are thinking and feeling.
• Be sure to let the child know that when you are angry or upset, it is because of their behavior, not the child himself.

DON’T:

• Raise your voice loud or threaten. This will make the child uneasy and afraid to come to you in the future.
• Hurt their feelings – they came to you because they felt comfortable talking to you and they respect you.

Resource

If you are interested in listening to a podcast about this subject, I would recommend “Speaking the Truth in Love” (Eph 4:15): Improving Family Communication by Ancient Faith Ministries.

Weekly Challenge

For this week’s challenge, spend some one-on-one time with each of your children. Even as little as 10-15 minutes a day can make a huge difference in the relationship between parent and child. During this time, it is important to give the child your undivided attention. There should be no distractions, electronics, or underlying worries on your mind while you have a deep conversation with your loved one. Listen to what they are saying and how they are feeling. Show understanding and empathy to whatever your child brings to the discussion. This will be invaluable in making them feel loved, respected, and heard. Before you leave this one-on-one time, pray to God, thanking Him for your child and his/her gifts, and submit any worries or concerns to Him.

If you have any specific needs or prayer requests, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at [email protected]